Project-urok-mara-wilson — Writer and performer Mara Wilson speaks about her experiences with anxiety and depression in a video for Project UROK.

Mara Wilson, writer and performer who made her name as a child actress in Matilda and Mrs. Doubtfire, is sitting in front of a gray screen, hair gathered in a messy bun, wearing a sweatshirt with a stylized cat face on it and a big blue pin that says "UROK." In a casual tone that previous generations could never have conjured for such personal subjects, she is talking about anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and the arc of her life from "anxious kid" to "anxious adult."

"I wish somebody had told me it's OK to be anxious, that you don't have to fight it," Wilson says. "When you face anxiety ... when you understand it's just this false alarm in your body, then you can work with it, then you can overcome it."

Wilson is one of the celebrities who have recorded videos for a new video platform, Project UROK, which stands for "you are OK." The month-old nonprofit features candid videos with comedians, actors and other public figures talking frankly about their mental health and how they came to accept themselves.

"We're trying to think of ourselves as a sort of mental illness destigmatization network," Jenny Jaffe, founder of Project UROK.

The aim is to use the force of the Internet for good — a vast departure from the texting, bullying, shaming minefield of social media that can, and has, driven teens to suicide from a sense of isolation. Project UROK aims to give teenagers struggling with mental illness a sense of community, an assurance that they aren't alone and permission to see mental health as a subject that can be mentioned out loud.

Jaffe was inspired by past campaigns that put a human face on important issues, such as the It Gets Better Project, which used YouTube and other social platforms to give hope to LGBT youth facing bullies and harassment. But while other destigmatization platforms exist for mental illness, such as Glenn Close's campaign Bring Change 2 Mind, they're geared more toward adults.

"The generational difference in how people over a certain age interact with the Internet versus how teens and young adults do is monumental," Jaffe says

Teens, as always, speak a different language: the language of text, of Snapchat, of celebrity YouTube bloggers and Instagrams. So Project UROK, and its staff, always keep the language of modern sharing in mind. Instead of asking teens to seek information in a formal way that isn't natural for them — making a phone call or going to a library, as previous generations might have done — the project harnesses the power of the Internet.

In a connected age, using shareable video for something other than cats and memes has proven to have obvious appeal. Kids of all ages and backgrounds have written to the team, expressing interest to record their own videos and write blog posts. Since it officially launched on April 17, the platform has racked up nearly 900 YouTube subscribers, about 18,000 views and more than 13,000 Twitter followers.

The project also relies on another key aspect of the Internet: the first-person voice.

"This is a platform we built for whoever wants to use it. It's really great to have a celebrity or public figure endorsement, because it's someone people can look up to ... but we want it to take form as a two-way conversation," Jaffe says. "My message is, if you're comfortable telling your story, we want to hear your story."

Users can send an unlisted YouTube video or raw file to the team, and they'll post it to the Project UROK and also monitor comments to ensure a safe space.

What 'mental illness' really means

Mental illness is common among adolescents, and yet it's still a subject very much in the shadows. Approximately 1 in 5 teens between the ages of 13 and 18 live with a mental health condition, but only 20% of those teens actually receive help.

Stigma, according to the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI), is leaving them behind.
Jaffe feels we're finally progressing in terms of the conversation surrounding mental health, but she says there's a long way to go — especially in the U.S., where mental health and physical health are not given equal importance.

"Mental health is often seen as a luxury," she says. "Just as you need to be able to find an affordable doctor in your neighborhood, you also need to be able to find somebody you can talk to about how you're feeling. Destigmatization and spreading information about what 'mental illness' really means is the first step."

Acceptance of mental health

Jaffe, still in her 20s, is not so far removed from her teen years. She remembers keenly the isolation she felt as a teenager, when she struggled with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Even with professional help and support from her family, acceptance took years.

She turned to comedy to fight her demons and help other people talk about theirs.

"I got into comedy because it helped me when I was at such dark points in my life," Jaffe says.
She decided to switch gears after she wrote about her experience with exposure therapy and saw the outpouring of responses from people who could relate.

"I was doing [comedy] as a sort of indirect way of helping other people who were in similar situations. Project UROK is a way of doing what I was trying to do in a much more direct way," she says.

While these videos may be empowering to teens, Project UROK also makes sure to direct users to professional help if and when they need it. It has a comprehensive resources page, curated based on helpfulness and whether the staff members, all of whom have experienced mental illness or knew someone who did, would use them.

There are also several psychologists on the nonprofit's board, and it works with the Children's Health Council, which is the same organization that helped Jaffe as a kid.

"We can't ourselves administer any treatment, but we can point them in the right direction," she says. "If we come across anyone we're concerned about, we have an order of operations in place for next steps. Keeping our users safe is our No. 1 priority."

For immediate help, contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If you live outside the U.S., you can find the appropriate resources here.

Whether you're moving into your first home or relocating to your second, there's a good chance you'll need outside financing to obtain it. According to the National Association of Realtors' 2014 Home Buyer and Seller Generational Trends report, 88% of recent buyers financed their home purchase.
For Generation Y buyers, that figure is as high as 97%, according to the report.

As many home buyers have learned, the process of qualifying for a mortgage can be both tedious and nerve-wracking. Lenders seek to know everything about a potential borrower's past and current finances to ensure that he or she has the cash flow to make monthly mortgage payments.

Here are five ways borrowers can reduce their debt, increase their cash flow and achieve a low debt-to-income ratio before buying a home.

1. Prune away credit report inaccuracies

While you might not put much thought into old information on your credit report, such as an old address or a late payment from a decade ago, lenders do.
"Nothing is overly minute when it comes to making sure your credit score is current and accurate," says Michael Bovee, president of Consumer Recovery Network, a self-help website to resolve credit issues.

Appearances matter on your credit report, and multiple addresses can give off the impression that you're financially unstable. Bovee advises consumers to delete old addresses from their report. He also urges them to contact credit agencies about paid bills that are still showing on credit reports.

"Those shouldn't be there anymore, and they'll follow you around for years if you don't pay attention," Bovee says. "They can affect your score, how you're viewed and your interest rate."

Even if a potential borrower doesn't find any errors or discrepancies on his or her credit report, it's good for him or her to get in the habit of regularly checking its contents.

"It greases the wheels," Bovee says. "It'll get you accustomed to the process of making sure that everything on your credit score accurately reflects your current information."

2. Remove co-signed obligations

When preparing their finances before a home purchase, many consumers overlook obligations that they've co-signed in the past, such as a relative's credit card or a student loan. Though they may not make payments on those obligations, consumers are still responsible for them in the eyes of lenders, who view co-signed obligations as debt and a borrowing risk.

"It's all about what's on paper — just the facts," says Scott Sheldon, a senior loan officer at Sonoma County Mortgages.

Sometimes removing a name from a co-signed obligation can be as easy as placing a phone call, Sheldon says. In the end, removing outside responsibilities from a credit report can free up buyers to borrow more, he adds.

3. Attack large and high-interest balances and improve cash flow

Before approving you for a mortgage, lenders want to feel assured that your current debts won't impede you from making monthly payments on your home. One thing that makes lenders feel uneasy about your ability to make those payments is credit card debt.
To assuage future lenders, consumers should devise a monthly budget that allows them to pay down their credit cards to 30% or less of their credit limits. Not only will this tactic trim monthly payments on the card (which are likely subject to interest), it'll also refurbish the card holder's credit score and lower his or her debt-to-income ratio.

"It’s like a three-in-one punch," says Sheldon. "The borrower will have a better FICO score, a better DTI ratio and better ability to qualify for a home because less their income is mortgaged."
To get started on paying down credit cards, consumers should set aside money each month to whittle away at their cards that have higher interest rates and larger balances, Bovee advises
"You can take someone from zero to hero using their monthly cash flow in six to 12 months, if they have that time," Bovee says.

By attacking those balances, consumers will vastly improve their cash flow, which is central to a lender's decision.

"Us lenders don't care so much about the amount of debt someone has, per se," Sheldon says. "It's the minimum payments associated with that debt that draws the line in the sand between having good probability of qualifying and having a worse probability of qualifying."

"The person with more debt and lower monthly payments is actually better off from a loan qualifying standpoint than the person with less debt and a higher monthly payment," he adds.

4. Negotiate unresolved debt on your own

Though you may have outstanding debts that have gone to collection, you can still qualify for a mortgage in the future, especially if you take prudent steps to bandage debts and erase balances from your credit report.

To start the debt triage process, consumers should reach out to their creditors or collectors and offer to pay half of their sum — or, in some cases, less, Bovee advises.
The end goal, Bovee says, should be to remove all unpaid bills from a credit report and receive documentation that the cases have been closed. With a tidier credit report, creditors will be less skittish about lending to you.

"Because the damage is already done to your credit, you need to get the balances updated to show there's nothing owed," Bovee says.

"Then, that person with three collections on their report today, as long as they're able to put a plan together and enact it over the course of the next six months, could be in the home-buying market by winter."

5. Consolidate debt

If potential home buyers have multiple student loans or credit cards with significant debt on them, they should consider consolidating their debts. In the latter scenario, consumers can search for a zero or low-interest credit card that allows them to transfer their current obligations onto one card and close out multiple open balances.

"That'll have a ripple benefit effect," Sheldon says. "Those other cards will now show zero balance, which improves utilization of credit, and you'll have a lower monthly payment, which will bolster your ability to qualify for a mortgage."

Like Sheldon, Bovee stresses the importance of reducing your debt through traditional means, such as consolidation. He advises against alternative ways to slash debt like debt settlement or credit counseling, both of which can hurt your credit in the long run.

"Use peer-to-peer lending or banks that are back in the credit consolidation market," Bovee says.

For how to calculate your debt-to-income ratio, see this helpful video:

When the going gets tough, the tough go get a massage.

Life's little luxuries are what keep many of us refreshed and relaxed when the stressors of work and home leave us frazzled. From bottomless-mimosa brunch to a day at the spa, everybody needs a little pampering every now and then.

Indulging in such activities doesn't have to break the bank. Below are a few sites and services for bringing a little luxury into your life when you've got champagne taste and a beer budget.

You probably don't was Deadpool anywhere near your mom — or a baby for that matter.

Ryan Reynolds, who plays Marvel's antihero, tweeted out a very special Mother's Day message that comes straight from his character's heart. Or what passes for his character's heart.

Only a sarcastic, foul-mouthed mercenary like Deadpool could craft such poetic, honeyed words.

Ryan Reynolds' wife, Blake Lively, is also a proud mama this year. Lively and Reynolds welcomed a baby girl, James, in December.

Image: NepalPhotoProject/Instagram

It is not always cheers of victories for the people involved in the rescue operations. Here, a day before famously rescuing Pema Lama, L.B. Basnet, an officer from the Nepal Armed Police Force (APF) is seen doing necessary paperwork after retrieving a deceased body of a 47-year-old shopkeeper, Dambar Karki.

On April 26, 2015, one day after the most devastating Earthquake to hit Nepal in 80 years, the Nepal Photo Project began.

The project was founded with the intention of documenting the area in and around Kathmandu following the disaster, and to provide critical information so others outside the region can find information about rescue and relief efforts.

Approximately 7,000 people were killed in the 7.8 quake.

Image: Corbis Katie Edwards/Ikon Images

Think of the last time you felt stressed. (For many, that time might be right ... now.)

Maybe your heart's racing a little bit, your brain wheels won't stop whirring, your eyes even feel like they might be bugging out of your head a bit. You probably feel like you're racing toward a finish line you're not sure you'll make it to, while something heavy is pumping through your veins. And all the while there's this looming thought over your head of, "This isn't good for me! I need to de-stress!"

Image: Image Source/Corbis

Japan has given us a lot over the years. Karaoke, emoji, anime, Nintendo. Crying rooms.

Wait, crying rooms?

Yeah, apparently this is a new thing in Japan. According to The Telegraph, the Mitsui Garden Yotsuya hotel in Tokyo is offering women special "crying rooms" to help them combat stress.

The rooms, which can be booked for 10,000 Japanese yen per day (that's about $85), through August 31, contain tissues, warm sheets and eye masks. Women can also watch tearjerker films — such as Forrest Gump — or read super-sad manga.

As Jezebel notes, the idea is pretty genius. Sometimes there really is nothing better for the psyche than a good cry. And having a safe space to do it in — away from home, away from work — strikes me as brilliant.

Still, I do take issue with the fact that the rooms are only for women. Yes, I realize this is Japan, where sometimes cultural ideas around gender are, let's say, different from the western world. Still, I'd think Japanese men could enjoy a good cry, too.

Japan has lots of weird hotels and cafes

As The Telegraph notes, crying rooms are just par for the course in the wacky world of Japanese hotels and cafes.

Tokyo is packed with "love hotels" — hotel rooms designed for short stays when you are feeling amorous. Reportedly, 1.4 million couples visit a love hotel each day.

There are also "cuddle cafes" where men pay to sleep next to a girl. They don't get to have sex with the woman, but can pay extra to stare in her eyes for a minute or to stroke her hair. (OK, this is just creepy.)

And of course, Japan gave us the cat cafe — a concept since adopted in America — where individuals can enjoy a latte or juice while stroking a cat. Japan also now has bunny, owl and bird cafes.

Stress is real, crying helps

It's easy to dismiss a crying room as something silly or even unnecessary. Still, studies show that adult workers are under more stress than ever before. This is true in the east and in the west.

Crying is often seen as a sign of weakness, but evolutionary biologists have done studies that show the emotional benefits of crying

It's good to get it out.

And frankly, if we're allowed to have nap rooms at work, I like the idea of having a crying room at a hotel.

It's better than the subway. (Can I get a shout-out from my fellow criers on the C Train?)

There's no better way to experience a city than a leisurely tour through the streets where locals outnumber tourists. This mesmerizing video of Shanghai provides a new perspective on the enormous Chinese metropolis, but the creator says it's only the beginning.

"‘Walk in Shanghai’ is only an introductory tour of Shanghai's urban streets," said JT Singh, who produced the video.

Singh has produced similar videos in the past, including a unique look into daily life in Pyongyang, North Korea.

For Shanghai, urban landscapes take on a new shape as the action is reversed, sped up and slowed down.

"It’s through a heightened focus on one man’s seemingly unstructured journey that we discover the ultimate protagonist of this story: the transcendent power of using your legs for discovering a city,".

The team that worked on the video included Singh, Charles Lanceplaine, Joe Nafis, Ling, Jay Meador, Christina Lu, Ema Liao, Lucie Mouchet, Hoi Hoi, with sound design by Slava Pogorelsky.

Image: Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP/Associated Press

She's already slayed vampires. Now Sarah Michelle Gellar has her sights set on conquering Pinterest.
On Tuesday, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer actress joined the crafty social network, launching a variety of lifestyle and DIY boards in preparation for Mother's Day. Crafts, snack ideas and home decor inspiration — SMG has got you covered!

"One of my favorite activities to do with my kids is crafting. But so often I think we see things, but then think we could never make them," Gellar recently said in a statement. "So I created this [DIY Mother's Day Gifts] board, to guide from aspiration to actual creation. These are not only doable projects, but useful items like picture frames (and the art to put in them), wine glasses and even edible arrangements."

To help out with the Pinterest launch, Mashable is partnering with Gellar, collaborating on her DIY Mother's Day Gift board. Follow along to find crafty ways to say "Thank you, mom!"

Check out some of Sarah's pins below. And don't forget to check out her full Pinterest profile here.

Follow Sarah Michelle Gellar's board DIY Mother's Day Gifts on Pinterest.

Image: LWA/Larry Williams/Blend Images/Corbis

Imagine someone telling you that a new technology would be available in five years that has the potential to revolutionize childhood and early education. But the downside is that you will have to choose from among 80,000 possible options. This is the problem currently facing many parents. Following the invention of the iPad in 2010, by January 2015 there were 80,000 apps marketed as "educational" in the Apple App Store alone.

We recently published a large-scale review of more than 200 articles on the question of how we can put the education back in educational apps. We used several well-worn principles that parents, educators and app developers can use to determine what is truly educational and what is simply masquerading as such. Here is what we found.

Two Virginia Task Force 1 team members work with the FINDER prototype in 2013.

Image: NASA/Bill Ingalls

NASA technology sensed the heartbeats of four people trapped in rubble days after a huge 7.8-magnitude earthquake struck Nepal on April 25, saving the lives of the four men.

The new prototype technology — called FINDER (short for Finding Individuals for Disaster and Emergency Response) — uses microwave-radar technology to find people trapped under debris by sensing and locating their heartbeats. Two suitcase-sized FINDER prototypes developed by NASA and the Department of Homeland Security’s (DHS) Science and Technology Directorate were brought to Nepal to help with rescue efforts on April 29.

"The true test of any technology is how well it works in a real-life operational setting," DHS under secretary for science and technology Reginald Brothers said in a statement. "Of course, no one wants disasters to occur, but tools like this are designed to help when our worst nightmares do happen. I am proud that we were able to provide the tools to help rescue these four men."

NASA map — NASA's damage proxy map is used to help relief workers assess which areas need aid in Nepal.

The men were trapped for days under debris in the village of Chautara, according to the press release. The FINDER devices detected the heartbeats of two men trapped beneath about 10 feet of rubble in one location, and another two survivors of the earthquake trapped in another. Rescue workers were then able to go in and pull the people out of the collapsed buildings.

Microwave radar technology can actually help users tell the difference between a human heartbeat and the heartbeats of other living things, the DHS has said. One big benefit to FINDER is that people trapped in rubble don’t need to be conscious in order to be saved, because the technology finds beating hearts.

According to NASA, the device has detected people buried under up to 30 feet of rubble, hidden behind 20 feet of solid concrete, and from a distance of 100 feet across an open space. The technology can peg the location of trapped individuals to within about five feet of their location, depending on the type of rubble they are trapped in, NASA says.

Developed with private industry partners, the device is moving into a commercial enterprise phase, and will soon be available for purchase by rescue agencies and organizations around the world.

Areas affected by the earthquake have become something of a test-bed for emerging technologies in the wake of this disaster.

The company Skycatch is using its drones to map aid efforts in Nepal. Their drones are able to provide high-resolution imagery that can be used to photograph areas to learn more about the damage caused by the earthquake. Other groups are also flying drones to help relief efforts in the hard-hit areas of the country.

The company DigitalGlobe open-sourced its satellite imagery of Nepal to users, asking them to help map damage caused by the earthquake.

FINDER isn’t NASA’s only contribution to the relief effort. The space agency is also using satellite data collected by probes to put together maps of potentially vulnerable areas and places that were most damaged from the quake.

Have something to add to this story?

Share it in the comments

Where is the love?

You’ve tamed the laundry, hit a home run at work, and dished up a family dinner. Forget anything? Oh, right—your partner!

It’s easy to simply co-exist with the person next to you in bed. But a rise in "gray" divorce (couples over 50 calling it quits) suggests that

Isn't it time to add a little love to your to-do list? Try these 29 libido-boosting ideas.

Try something new together

Climbing out of a dating rut can be difficult. But couples who participate in exciting activities get a big boost in relationship satisfaction, according to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. So grab your significant other and get ready for a good—but different—time.

Laugh it up: Crack up at a comedy club with your sweetie.
Get comfy in the kitchen: Take a cooking class (bonus points for learning a foreign cuisine).
Hit the road: Rent a fun car—a Prius, a Volkswagen Beetle, aSmart Car, a Mustang—and go for a mini–road trip.

Gossip

It’s tempting—and often prudent—to keep couple conversations behind closed doors, but you may actually benefit from blabbing to a close friend.

“Many couples live very privately and discuss these issues with the shades down, but relationship issues like this can often benefit from hearing how people that you trust dealt with a similar situation," says Ken Robbins, MD, a clinical professor of psych

Whether it’s hearing how a friend dealt with her husband’s infidelity or other big hurdles, a little empathy can put things in perspective.

Tweak your diet

Eat up! Almonds, avocados,and arugula can boost your sex drive and improve fertility.

Open about your spending

Nearly 40% of married people admit to lying to their spouse about a purchase, according to a 2004 poll, and money is the number-one reason couples fight.

Don’t fret if you’re a spendthrift and your partner pinches pennies. “It’s probably not a good thing to have the exact same philosophy about money,” says Dr. Robbins. You don't have to be a financial martyr, but don't hide your spending habits, either.

Slip on something red

Research shows that men find women who wear red sexier than those who wear “cool” colors such as blue and green. Any doubts as to what you should wear for date night?

Assess your sex drive

If you're not interested in sex—but you would like to be —there might be a medical explanation.

Reduced blood flow: Diabetes and high blood pressure are among the health problems that can restrict genital blood flow.

Hormonal issues: Menopause, breast-feeding, birth control pills, and thyroid problems can dampen sexual desire.
Medication side effects: Antidepressants and chemotherapy agents such as tamoxifen are frequently to blame.

Make an appointment with your primary care doctor if you've noticed an unwanted decrease in your libido.

Hit the gym

If you want to be "hot-blooded," then improve your circulation. Physical fitness can increase blood flow, which in theory can make sex more pleasurable, since sexual arousal for both men and women involves increased blood flow to the genital area. And that can increase desire itself—if it feels great, you tend to want to do it more.

Make your bedroom Tech free

We hear it over and over again: The bed should be used for sex and sleep only. But still our beds are cluttered with laptops, Blackberries, and Netflix rentals. How can you cuddle up to your partner when you're stuck in extension cords?

This month, try clearing all your gadgets from your bedroom and explore each other instead of the Internet.

Help your partner quit smoking

Erectile dysfunction, a yellow grin and loads of wrinkles, stained wallpaper, increased risk of balding—can you name one good reason why you shouldn't help your partner quit?

Of course quitting isn't easy, but smokers who have support are more likely not to light up. Recognize and congratulate small milestones, and realize that your partner may be crankier than usual. Sometimes the best thing you can be is a sounding board, or even an emotional punching bag, for whenever a bad craving strikes.

Keep things hot when you're apart

Sure, it sounds a little intimidating at first, but phone sex is a great way for couples to bond when one of you is on the road.

First, dim the lights and slip into something sexy. Start by telling your husband what you’re wearing, where you are, etc. Talk about the last time you had sex or what you would be doing to him if you were home. If the goal is an orgasm, describe what you’re doing to yourself, and ask him to do the same. Just relax and have fun!

Turn up the heat

Dig into a dish made with chiles—they contain capsaicin, a substance that stimulates nerve endings, triggers the release of endorphins, and ramps up heart rate. Next date night, try these chile-infused Salmon and Scallop Skewers.

Give your bedroom routine a boost

Think of ways to pique his interest outside the bedroom. Next time you take a shower, wear just the towel around for a while. Titillation will spur him to be more spontaneous.

write down your fantasies and put them in a “fantasy jar.” Then take turns picking out of the jar and act out the fantasies. This can build intimacy, trust, and great sex.

Embrace the quickie

Few of us can afford the luxury of leisurely sex, says Jennifer Berman, MD, the director of the Berman Women’s Wellness Center and author of For Women Only. And holding out for the perfect moment can lead to infrequent sex. The solution? Embrace the quickie.

For extra excitement, break out of the bedroom: Five-minute romps are perfect for unusual locations, even if that just means your shower or sofa.

Eat an elegant meal—for less!

Need a little extra something to put the sizzle back into your Valentine’s Day? Skip the overcrowded, overpriced restaurants and cook something special for your partner. Or, for extra relationship points, start chopping away together.

Remember that you're a team

Expanding your brood requires adjustment. “Sex lives of people who have children are worse—there’s data to prove it,” says Andrew Goldstein, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. <

When possible, get a friend or relative to occasionally help out at night so mom and dad have some time to cultivate their relationship one-on-one. Especially as kids get older, make sure they understand that mom and dad need time to themselves.

Watch your waistline

Wedded couples tend to have fatter waistlines, which can spell trouble in terms of sexual attraction and general health. A 2007 study found that your chances of becoming obese increase by 37% if your spouse becomes obese. So unless you want “till death do us part” to include chronic health issues like heart disease and diabetes, it’s important to establish healthy eating habits early on.

Spend couple time checking out local farmers’ markets on the weekends in an effort to consume fresher, low-calorie fare. Or...

Make an exercise date

A 1995 study found that couples who work out together are more likely to stick with an exercise program. And some experts suggest that couples who exercise more frequently tend to have better sex lives.

Try a life sport that you can enjoy together for decades to come, like golf, tennis, or hiking.

Work on your working relationship

Given the state of the economy, it's likely that you or your partner is facing some tough employment choices. Both partners need to respect the other’s role and recognize their situation as shared. Open communication can help you weather the storm and make your relationship even stronger.

Find family and friends dealing with this same issue. Talking about shared struggles can help couples gain perspective and give them a chance to feel good about using their experience to help others.

Get some shut-eye

Snoring away and having passionate sex may seem like exact opposites, but experts insist that getting enough sleep is the number-one aphrodisiac.

Too tired for intimacy at night? Change your schedule to include some cuddling or a quickie before work.

Love your body

Is your libido lagging? Many women withdraw if they feel overweight.

News flash: “Women have a talent for disliking the very things about themselves that other people find very attractive,” says Los Angeles–based sex therapist Linda De Villers, PhD. Feel free to ask your partner what he likes about your body; his compliments can help you feel more positive.

Eat more seafood

Oysters are one of the best sources of libido-boosting zinc. But other types of seafood can also act as aphrodisiacs, too. Oily fish—like wild salmon and herring—contain omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for a healthy heart.

Swap in seafood instead of your usual meat or poultry a few times a week. You'll be doing your heart and your sex life a favor.

Search for the big O

Elusive? Yes. Attainable? Certainly. Although every woman is unique, the woman-on-top position is a good place to start, says Berman. For most of us, clitoral stimulation is key to an orgasm, and this position lets you rub your clitoris against your partner's pelvic bone for dual stimulation.

Sex from behind, or doggie-style, is another great option because it stimulates the G-spot in the vagina while also allowing you or your partner to rub your clitoris by hand. It also makes it easy to massage other erogenous zones like the nipples, which increase your chance of reaching the big O.

Stop comparing yourself to other couples

It doesn’t matter whether you’re having sex five times a week or five times a year, as long as both of you are happy. In fact, a 2008 study found that couples who reported any kind of marital intimacy—everything from holding hands to sex—exhibited lower levels of a hormone produced by stress.

Have a pre-date

You've rushed home from work, hopped in the shower, and turned on the hair dryer while feeding the kids—you'd probably rather take a nap than hit the town. So have the babysitter come early on date night so you can relax with music and unwind with your partner before you head out.

Get away

"People are overworked and stressed, and they translate their overworked, stressed lives to a lousy sex life." suggests Irwin Goldstein, MD, the director of San Diego Sexual Medicine and editor in chief of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

When your to-do list gets to be too much, take a couple's trip—or send the kids to their grandparents' house and have a staycation. It may be just what you need to recharge your relationship.

Don't be afraid to get help

When a marriage is rocky, it can make both partners feel depressed. But only middle-aged women—not men—seem to have health problems associated with marital strife, such as high blood pressure, excess belly fat, and other factors that boost risk for heart attack and diabetes, says a recent study. The bottom line? If your relationship feels rocky, get help.

Be understanding if your partner seems skittish

It’s got to be nerve-racking to propose marriage to your sweetie. But as freaky as Jaws?

A survey of British men found that guys are just about equally frightened by shark attacks and popping the question! So cut the guy some slack—or better yet, take the heat of him and do the proposing yourself!

Realize that all couples fight...

...but once you've settled your grievances, you've set the stage for amazing makeup sex. It's natural to feel turned on after an argument— adrenaline and dopamine (your hormone of desire) levels rise, giving you that excited feeling.

One caveat: If it always takes a blowout to get you two connecting, then you should seriously consider talking to a couple's counselor.

Work on yourself first

When you are feeling depressed, your partner feels the strain too. If you tend to isolate yourself when you’re feeling blue, it can take a serious toll on your relationship.

Antidepressants can help pull you out of a funk, but are less effective for mild depression than moderate or severe depression. They can also cause side effects like a decreased libido. If you notice a dip in your sex drive, discuss alternative medications with your doctor or seek non-drug treatments like talk therapy or exercise.